The Best Advice I Ever...Gave???

William Arthur Ward: "greatness is not found in possessions, power, position or prestige.  It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character."

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.:  "Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners."

"How we live our days, of course, is how we live our lives." Annie Dillard

A couple of months ago I read Katie Couric's book The Best Advice I Ever Got. It's a book of essays by prominent people about advice they have received along the way.  It got me thinking about what kind of advice I am giving my children.  And thinking about what kind of advice I received as I was growing up.  I guess I remember things my Grandma Nora told me most.  She was a pistol.  A smart woman who skipped a grade in school but never had the opportunity to go to college.  Instead she headed West a young woman to become a "Harvey girl."  She worked at Harvey House hotels and restaurants.  She worked hard.  The talk of the time was that Harvey girls were trying to land husbands.  Grandma told me she was too tired at the end of the day ("my dogs were barking") to look for a husband.  I wish she would have shared more about her life with us.  Life was not easy for her.  But she did her best.  She worked for 30+ years at City Hall in Kansas City.  She had great friends and family who loved her.  I do remember little snippets of advice from Grandma Nora more than anyone. 

"Brush your hair 100 strokes every night if you want to have pretty hair."  (This is from the same woman who took me to a beauty school for a perm when I was in 2nd grade.  I was 8 and looked like I was 48 with my short hair permed.  Remember this was the 70's.)

Grandma didn't like it when we wore t-shirts with writing on it. "That's just free advertising for the company."  I think of that whenever I see a Gap or Old Navy t-shirt.

The main thing I remember hearing from Grandma Nora was "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." 

So the more I started thinking about my advice for my kids I kept coming back to that.  I can't give advice about which stocks to buy or financing their futures.  I doubt if they will listen to my advice when they are dating.  Or what major to choose in college.  But I can advise them to be nice.  I keep coming back to a quote, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." (John Cassis)

I want my children to be kind.  Of course, I want them to be happy and healthy.  But I also want them to treat others with dignity and respect.

I will close with this quote I found in the comments section of a New York Time article about What Kids Need the Most.

Seek your friends among the kindest, fairest people you know, but recognize that some people may be less than the kindest when you meet them because they grew up or are growing up with hurts. Your values, ideals, and open-mindedness will be worth more to you than all the costly status symbols you could buy.